AMONG US MOVIE

The time I went to the Los Angeles Lakers basketball game.

 The time I went to the Los Angeles Lakers basketball game. 

It was Saturday and my dad bought two tickets to the Lakers basketball game. I was excited because I never went to a basketball court or a game so I got ready and went to the basketball arena. It was huge, I saw my favourite basketball player Anthony Davis, he was the best player in his team he scored so many baskets, as soon as the first quarter ended. I and my dad decided to get ice cream.

The second quarter started and the Celtics were catching up to the Lakers score. It was a very close match because both teams were good, Anthony Davis was sitting down on his chair because he had to take a break. He came back from his break and was on fire, he scored so many points, I finished eating my ice cream when I finished my ice cream I heard a sound. It was the slam dunk! Lebron James slammed the ball into the hoop. 

Lebron jumped so high that he slammed it. “That was amazing!” I shouted to my dad. Anthony Davis scored a three-pointer by the corner, there was nobody to guard him so he shot and got it in the hoop it was so fast I couldn’t see the net on the ring move, that is called a swish, a swish is when you shoot a ball and it doesn’t touch the edges.  

          

the hydrosphere

Earth is made up of four different spheres, they are the geosphere, hydrosphere, biosphere, and atmosphere.

In this explanation, I'm going to tell you how the hydrosphere works.

We need water to stay hydrated or otherwise, we would be extinct. Without water. Animals and plants won’t be alive and the animals will die. The water comes from underground and goes around the earth. The water will come underground then it goes to the pacific ocean.

The hydrosphere is one of the most important spheres in the world. Auckland is in a water shortage so we need to save water. you need to have water so there's plenty for everyone. 

Every sphere is important because they all relate to the earth. We need water to stay alive so we won't get extinct. 

Conclusion

The hydrosphere is important to us, plants, trees, and animals. 

feedback

Teo

  I Like the writing 

I like the Things u said about the Hydrosphere and we could die if we don’t have any water

Karlos

Use more sentence starters and I like how you used full stops.

  

  

spheres gone wrong

the volcano eruption

 It was a snowy day until I saw a big eruption coming from the volcano. I was going to explore the volcano and saw flickering lighting coming out of the smoke, it was coming from the volcano it was scary but cool because I could see a face forming because of the smoke and the lava bubbling under me I saw snow meltdown from the volcano, the flaming hot fire hit me and it felt like a flaming hot Cheeto and luckily there was a bit of snow unmelted, that was close, I continued exploring the volcano when I looked at the smoke I could see an owl face the stars were in the sky keeping a distance from the volcano erupting the volcano kept on rising the fire until it was full I kinda saw a beasty creature coming out and I actually heard a loud noise coming from the bottom of the volcano I ran back home to hide. I was still scared to go out because there was a lot of rumbling out there, I don’t know what to do though. Should I grab a gun? Yes, let's go get my dads ak 47 to beat the beasty creature I ran to get some ammo so I don’t run out so quickly now let’s go outside and shoot the creature boom! boom! The gun goes i”m about to run out of ammo, I ran back to the house to the last box of ammo that’s it I ran out of ammo and I defeated the mysterious creature “phew! That was hard” I said. Now we can go home and rest

Buddy Comment: Rayyan

I like how you used different vocabulary and punctuation

                                    

the race descriptive writing

 

I see kids running in the wet stinky mud. It is freezing cold. Lots of trees behind them, parents watching them while the kids run. The kids jump over a big log. Parents and little kids are shivering they would drink hot milo. Some parents have long sleeves, the runners are getting muddy and cold, it is very chilly outside some parents don’t have jackets. I feel bad for the people who were running around the place, it’s like there in a swamp. Parents cheering for their kids making them go faster it might be winter there that’s why the parents are wearing jackets. It started spitting and the race is almost done, just one more lap to go one boy is coming to touch the finish line “we have a winner!” the teacher said. The boy was proud of himself, also his parents, he felt awesome.

Conclusion 

I feel bad for them because they ran in the mud. I wouldn’t go there because it looked wet      

the time my little brother ate chili

the time my little brother ate chili

 My family was eating dinner, my mum told me to set the table. My brother really wanted candy, he thought that the chili was candy because it was red. I told my brother that it was chilli not candy but he didn’t listen to me.

He ate it and his face was red and I gave him water and he said that it was my fault and I said “you’re the one who didn’t listen to me.” My brother was crying again so my mum gave candy so he stopped crying but when we were actually eating dinner he didn’t want to eat.

My mum told him to eat but he didn't. I finished eating (my food is chicken and rice). I put my plate in the sink and I carried my brother to the table but he refused to eat and ran away. When I chased after him, he locked the door behind him. I called my mum to open the door. She grabbed her keys from her room and opened the door. My brother said “I will eat if you stop chasing me.” So he ate dinner and after he ate he fell asleep.

Now you know why little siblings cry a lot, hope you enjoyed my narrative writing.